Desire - Desire?
by Roshi Hogen Berman

In Buddhism it is taught that desire, thirst, and craving are primary sources of man's suffering in this life cycle. By inference then, the teachings are advocating the expulsion of desire from one's being, one's intellectual consciousness. Does this mean "desire not to desire" is the path we should follow?

Buddhist are also taught that their goal should be a state of consciousness known as Nirvana. In this case, since it is a goal, should one desire to reach Nirvana? If that is so, how can all desire be wrong?

This seems like an inconsistency, but it is only a problem if one views desire or thirst in isolation of the factors of life that condition or cause desire. We must recognize desire caused by ignorance of the correct way to live in moral excellence, leads to suffering. Where-as "desire to end desire" actually leads to the termination of desire and therefore to the end of suffering. For example, desire that leads to Nirvana is in itself paradoxical. When one reaches the goal, it may or may not be realized, but somewhere along the path all desire for the goal was lost. In fact, when one reaches the goal, there is no longer anyone to reach it; the self that desired this goal has vanished. That self is now seen as a fantasy of the mind and empty.

People are dismayed at the thought, "If I want to find complete happiness in this life cycle, all desire must be abandoned". They cling to the belief that not all desires result in suffering and lead to frustration and unsatisfactoriness. They may believe some desires are proper and beneficial.

The problem with this type of thinking is, there are no standards by which desires can be classified as "good" and "bad". Desires are something like beauty; the basis is conditional and relative. We could say "beauty" and "desirability" are often synonymous; a person or object of beauty that is admired by some - may be undesirable in the eyes of others. For example, it is reasonable to think a female hippopotamus appears to be a thing of beauty to a male hippopotamus, while I, although not repulsed, do not see her as a thing of rare beauty (at least not in the same sense as the male hippopotamus). This comparison is applicable to any object of desire; it may be an object of beauty or repulsion, to some people in one set of circumstances and, of course, the opposite in other circumstances.

Often an object of desire one seeks out early in the morning can be viewed as repulsive in the evening, or vice versa. An item may be desired on Monday and thought of as repulsive on Tuesday. Sometimes, in the company of friends, an object is viewed as repulsive, while when one is alone or with their family, it is desired. Often one's desire is driven by the environment of the moment, a circumstance which is conditioned by time, place, others involved, and perhaps by one's feeling of physical and mental well being or discomfort. Desire is akin to selfishness and we all know selfish thoughts and actions lead to suffering in one's life.

Another of the problems we expose ourselves to when we volitionally entertain thoughts of desire is that every desire carries with it the possibility of not fulfilling one's need after being acquired, or one no longer wanting the object after it has been obtained. Thus even an object, which initially is perceived, as the subject of great desire, is still a potential source of suffering and unsatisfactoriness. In addition, desire continues to renew itself, fixing first one object and then another. When one object of desire is gained or a goal reached, desire does not vanish or die out except perhaps the desire for the particular object obtained, and that may no longer be desirable. Desire usually transfers itself to a new object and renews itself again and again. It is insatiable, and this characteristic can be the cause of suffering in our life even though the things we desire may be socially acceptable and positive in nature.

It is also "our" desires relative to the desires of others that bring about wars and other similar problems throughout the world. Almost any desire may lead to a conflicting reaction in others as well as within oneself.

On the other side of the coin, when people lack "purpose" in life, it is usually because they have no important desires in life, or their life is troubled and crossed by conflicting desires; for desire may readily be equated to purpose in one's life. Moreover, whatever is desired above all other contending desires, which one puts the full force of their concentration behind, the thing desired will probably be eventually realized. Even then we must be alert, for when the purpose is achieved, the desire may very well have lost its force and therefore will be the cause of a major let down emotionally, and as a result, we suffer and experience unsatisfactory circumstances in our life.

The secret to entertaining desires and thus having goals and purpose in one's life is to recognize and accept the idea (with a grin) that often when our desires are fulfilled, and then we realize that is not what we really wanted, to not allow our self to become emotionally upset or frustrated. Smile, or even laugh at yourself, recognize there is no gain without some pain, and walk on, with a smile on your face. The same thought is applicable when we do not get the things we desire, accept the fact that no-one gets everything they desire (maybe we should be grateful for that), and consider, you can try again tomorrow or the next day. Keep in mind there is no possibility of success if we do not try. Not getting what we desire is not failure; think of it as a lesson learned, we have discovered what does not work. Also, failing to get what we go after is much better than never having tried. One who doesn't try, has no possibility of success, you at least had a chance. You can look forward to the next time, or you can just forget about it and walk on thinking, "Well I tried."

Do you understand? The suffering and frustration resulting from filled or unfulfilled desires is all in your mind.

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