Love and Compassion
by Roshi Hogen Berman

Subjective, objective, love and hate, compassion and friendship, antics with semantics. Rather than love, I believe, from watching the advertisements for movies, and the 30-minute sit-coms on TV that much of the world is driven by lust rather than love or compassion. However it is a difficult subject area. Here are some of my struggling thoughts on this issue.

It is perhaps most important in working with others that we do not develop idiot compassion, which means always trying to be kind. Since this superficial kindness lacks courage and intelligence, it does more harm than good. It is as though a doctor, out of apparent kindness, refuses to treat his patient because the treatment might be painful, or as though a mother cannot bear the discomfort of disciplining her child. Unlike idiot compassion, real compassion is not based on a simple-minded avoidance of pain. Real compassion is uncompromising in its allegiance to basic sanity. People who distort the path, that is, people who are working against the development of basic sanity, should be cut through on the spot if need be. That is extremely important. We should try to cut through as much self-deception as possible in order to teach others as well as ourselves. A major problem of the "would be" Bodhisattva is when having already achieved everything else; he is unable to go beyond idiot compassion.

The Dalai Lama approaches the concept of Bodhi citta, with much emphasis on "relative Bodhi citta", where kindness must be "discriminated" with a clarity that is extremely precise to respond with "authentic" compassion.

BODHI-CITTA (Sk) means Wisdom-heart. It is the aspiration of a Bodhi sattva for supreme enlightenment to the benefit and welfare of all living beings. The Bodhisattva renounces all claims to merit that may be forthcoming as a result of his deeds - transferring such merit to the spirits (hungry ghosts) of earth and air (beings reborn on other less favor able planes of existence) that may need such merit to find release from their spirit world - thus learning from the deeds of the Bodhisattva via the merit he freely gives (showing his compassion for all other beings - and his self lessness) they may find peace in their next life cycle.

KARUNA (Sk & Pali): Compassion; active compassion. One of the two pillars of Mahayana Buddhism; the other pillar being Prajna (wisdom). The 50th of the 52 Mental Factors associated with man's consciousness. May also be rendered in English as pity.

METTA (Pali): Literally means, "Friendship" however it is most often loosely translated into English as "Loving Kindness". In a general sense it has the mood of friendliness as its characteristic; its natural function is to promote friendliness between beings. It is manifested by the disappearance of ill-will. When it succeeds in establishing its footing of general friendliness and affection for other beings it eliminates ill-will from one's thoughts and character. When it fails, it degenerates into selfish affectionate desire. The true "feeling" of Metta cannot be easily defined in a single English term; loving-kindness comes close, but does not exactly cover the same ground. The English word Love also borders on the meaning of Metta, but it also requires further explanatory comments to support it. Everyone has experienced Love in the sense that we have such feelings for friends, brothers, sisters, relatives etc.; but that kind of love is not Metta. Perhaps if one were to try and imagine the feeling experienced by a young Mother for her newborn first baby - which is so powerful that she would willingly give her life to save the child; that feeling would be very close to Metta. Metta, in Buddhist Doctrine is the feeling one must first have towards them self; not in a narcissistic sense but in a sense of being content with who and what one is and assured that every effort has been made to exercise love and compassion towards all fellow beings. Then, and only then, can one spread the feeling towards all other beings in the universe.

METTA SUTTA (Pali) is the Sutta that tells of a love beyond the bounds of that which the mundane man perceives. The Metta Sutta is known as the scripture of true friendship and love of a supermundane or abstract nature.

I considered the term "empathy" which is a favorite of mine in that I truly try to "understand" what another's situation and feelings are in this Samsara world. However compassion, I think" is a much stronger word than empathy in that it includes our deep awareness of another's suffering and unlike empathy, it includes the thought that we want to do something to help them out of their trouble.

Even considering Metta versus Karuna, although we translate Metta as Loving kindness, I believe it probably means much more than that. It is just that our vocabulary is too limited to properly express it meaning in just a few words much less a single word. Karuna seems a much more powerful word in that it expresses the Bodhisattva ideal of holding out your hand in metta (friendship and loving kindness if I may) to all other living beings and sincerely trying to understand as well as help them out of their suffering.




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